It is a curious fact of modern life that those entrusted with safeguarding an organisation's morals are often its most gifted illusionists. I do not mean this metaphorically. I mean they are adept at conjuring values from thin air, pulling accountability out of a hat, and making entire scandals disappear in a puff of HR-approved smoke.
Take, for example, the recent saga at Astronomer, a company which—until last week—most of us thought made telescopes. Its CEO, Andy Byron, and Chief People Officer, Kristin Cabot, were caught on the jumbotron at a Coldplay concert in what can only be described as a tableau of ill-advised corporate intimacy. Chris Martin quipped, eyebrows danced, and internet sleuths did the rest. Byron, married to someone not named Kristin Cabot, reportedly uttered "Fucking hell, it's me!", as if he suddenly discovered that society has mores.
The Board, in turn, issued a communique with all the solemn inevitability of a head-of-state obituary—clearly pre-written by HR or PR, as if executive misconduct were not a shock but a certainty. Less a crisis response than a pre-scheduled ritual. Not a matter of if, but when.
Astronomer is committed to the values and culture that have guided us since our founding. Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability.
— Astronomer (@astronomerio) July 18, 2025
The Board of Directors has initiated a formal investigation into this matter and we will have additional… pic.twitter.com/rfrAQ5bygy
Thus unfolds the latest corporate morality play. And like all good tragedies, it raises one perennial question: Who guards the guardians?
The Cult of the Chief People Officer
Chief People Officers are a modern invention, like oat milk or crypto-backed mortgages. Once upon a time, they were called 'HR Directors' and made you fill in your leave form in triplicate. Now they sit on executive teams and brand their LinkedIn with uplifting terms like 'empathy', 'integrity', and 'authenticity'. Kristin Cabot, in this case, was supposed to be the company's ethical conscience—the designated adult. Instead, she's become Exhibit A in why the grown-ups need supervision too.
